The day I tried to live

Changes

Insert typical "I'm such a bad blogger" line here. 

OKAY  2010 in review:  BABY!  We welcomed Joseph Michael Dougherty into the world Oct 3rd, and at 6 months he is quite an energetic and smily kiddo.  He's sitting up these days and just so stinkin cute.  

  

Judson is getting big, playing drums and now going to school (daycare) a few times a week and loving it... except for the first 3 mintes where I have to pry him off of my leg.  He's a great big brother though.  it's been cool to see a connection form with them even at this young age.

 
 

We've quickly run out of space in our cute little one bedrom loft so we went on the hunt for a place of our own.  This week we close on our new place in Souderton PA!  We're crossing our fingers that everything goes smoothly.  It's a great place, but we have a few pretty big projects planned to make it our own.  I'll make sure to share some before and after pics.

 
 

 

Washing Ramparts and Pealing Onions

I was watching a baseball game the other week and came to a harsh realization during the National Anthem. I dont know what a rampart is!  And I'm not sure if we watched it or washed it, cause I use the words interchangeably in the song ALL THE TIME.

It's been a long time since 4th grade social studies, and I'm sure I'm not as unpatriotic as I am just plain forgetful.   But sometimes I just don't think about what I'm singing.  I dont even notice it, and sometimes I just plain dont care.  That's pretty bad for a musician.  Even worse that Im the one singing songs every week with people!

I wonder how often that happens in a worship service?  How often do we sing things we don't understand and just breeze right over it.  It's actually one of the things I appreciate about well written songs, it takes some work to peel back the layers.  Many songs today can be real surfacy and plain.  A good song should be like a nice thick onion.  A once over wont do.  you have to take out your knife and start peeling and get down to that next layer, and the next one after that where it's fresh and smooth... let it invade your senses and... do I see some tears?  That's probably taking the analogy to far into cheeseland, but you get it.  Good songs take work.  And how often do we take the time to learn about what we're singing.

Next week I'm teaching in our evening service about this very thing.  So help me get my thoughts together on this.  What songs do you have questions about, trouble with, or dont get?

A few examples.

Come thou fount  " Here I raise my Ebeneezer"  Who is Ebeneezer, why is he in this song, and when can I put him down??? 

"Hosanna" - A word of praise as Jesus was riding into Jerusalem.  But it has a historical Jewish meaning significantly different than in that context.

Even the word "Hallelujah"  What does that literally mean? is it different from "Alleluia?"  Sounds good... been saying it for a while... but what am I saying?

The entire song Days of Elijah - "Dry bones, fields of harvest, laboring in vinyards, year of Jubilee, Zions hill?"  So much imagery, so little time.

I think it also helps to get to know the stories behind these songs.  Song like "It is well" "Blessed be your name" "Jesus paid it all"  "The Heart of Worship"  have some very cool history behind them. 

So here's your encouragement to peal the onion on your worship songs and do your homework so you're not washing ramparts.

Also... Help me out.  What other corporate praise songs or hymns should I include in my talk. 

Second Chances

First an appology for not keeping this current. We will do a better job of that.

Second, in the middle of watching the eagles preseason game at my uncles house in conneticut, I was bombarded with texts from friends informing me that we had just signed Michael Vick. The following three hours have been a cycle of emotions that went a little like "WHAT THE HECK... we dont need him!...  he's bad press!... what is Andy thinking... I guess he doesnt make us worse...  He did his time...  is this really about football?"  In the end I'm feeling a little like it's not.  And if it's not, I'm actually pleasantly surprised and really like this move.

PETA is going to be a nag all season along with many disappointed fans who have no intention of forgiving the horrendous acts he committed against many dogs.  Understandable.  Forgiveness is a trait that few truly desire, and even fewer truly possess.  I want to applaud the Eagles here for knowing this and taking a risky PR shot on Vick.  This may be perfect place for him...IF it has very little to do with football.

Now, I know...  Will he help the birds on the field?  Probably.  A trick play here or there, and extra weapon in the red zone, a better backup If Donovan goes down, all positives.  Hard to find much negative other than some bad press... But what's new in Philly.  

I think this could very well be the eagles doing something that supersedes the football field. This could be the eagles showing the NFL what it means to redeem one of it's own and set him up to continue his career somewhere.  Michael Vick is not here to be Donovans heir apparent. Those shoes are filled.  He's not here to be a wide reciever, they were clear about that.   Vick signed a contract for one million this year and a 5 million option for next year. Are the eagles (who wouldn't fork up a few extra bucks to keep the greatest safety who ever played here) really going to drop 5 million next year for Vick?  Maybe, but probably not. It doesnt make sense!  So we're talking about a one year deal here.   A one year redemption deal.

Take a solid organization committed to having players with integrity. Take the player who fell from the heights of fame and fortune to the humbling depths of a jail cell and bankruptcy.  Bring the two together for a year to get him back in football shape and show the league he can still contribute, and give him a chance to show he is changed. Release him after a year and give him a real shot to earn a starting job with some credibility on his record.  If this is what the Eagles (along with Tony Dungy and Roger Goodell) have in mind, I am truly impressed.  If this is not about the wildcat formation and the superbowl, and instead about second chances and the NFL redeeming one of its own... I am impressed.  Maybe I am thinking too highly of the Eagles staff here.  We may have just sold our soul for a shot at a championship.  Part of me actually hopes we don't win with him, but that he just comes out a better man for having been with us.  Thats a very small part mind you... but seriously,  in the big picture...  What the greater accomplishment?  Winning a superbowl or making men better men? 

I have a dog that I love.  It disgusts me what he did.  I also know I've been given second chances.  And I hope we dont fail to get past ourselves and see the bigger picture here. 

Why I cant stand the David Crowder Band 50% of the time

A little history.  I actually love the David Crowder Band.  I first got into them when 'Can you Hear Us" came out and loved that album.  Musically I felt like the church took a huge step forward in relevance and creativity with the rise of their popularity.  The use of electronic beat, turntables, and all the crazy space sounds was exactly what I was looking for to give me a fresh take on the christian music scene.  Contrary to other popular christian bands I was into at the time (Third Day, Caedmons Call, Jars of Clay - note, I was not into christian music at all until these guys) DCB had a unique sound that I had not heard in mainstream music. 

Disclaimer #1 -  I am not that guy that is totally engrossed into the music scene and listening to 8 awesome bands that no one has heard of.  I'm the guy that has 2 or 3 of those friends that I'll frequently ask what good stuff is out there I need to be listening to.  So when I say DCB was fresh and new for me, it's very possible that a similar band came through the ranks years before and  missed it)

However, to this day, when i hear DCB on worship compilations I know I'm going to get a different sound than the rest of the artists.  A sound that resonates with me personally.  What David Crowder Band does well is creatively express biblical themes. 

What drives me crazy as a worship pastor is that off of 4 major albums, I can only use like 2 or three songs in corporate worship.  The other potential songs are a GIANT tease. 

Disclaimer #2  This topic is pretty subjective.  Is there a perfect worship song?  Is there a right way to write worship songs?  I dont know, I think so, but I dont like putting nice boxes around everything.  So I speak 30% from personal taste, 30% from general experience, and 30% from my philosophy of corporate worship song structure.  Theres another 10% floating around but I'm not sure what that is. 

Other than the 2-3 songs that are suited well for the corporate singing, there are a handful that "fill me up buttercup baby just to let me down."  They follow a very similar pattern.  Excellent creative music... chorus that is a perfect hook and relevant cry for the worshiper... AND THEN... verses that are obscure and syncopated, hard to learn unless you actually go out and buy the album.  I know there will be many that would argue that point, but I'll assume those people also went out, bought the CDs, know the songs, and are probably fans of the DCB.

Songs that lend themselves to corporate worship:
Our Love is Loud
Only you
Thank you for Hearing me
I'll force "O Praise Him" into this slot because the Chorus is SO good that people move past the verses taking about our constant divine singing and la la la la's pretty easily.  Also probably their most popular song.

Songs that are 50% amazing and 50% frustrating:
Here is our King
Everything Glorious
Wholly Yours

"Here is our King" is the one that gets me the most.  Upbeat song.  Awesome chorus. Amazing chorus.  I love everything that is communicated in this chorus.  And it's surrounded with absolutely obscure verses and bridge that make you think the whole time "what the heck am I singing about?"

Chorus
Here Is Our King
Here Is Our Love
Here Is Our God, Who's come to bring us back to him
He Is the One
He Is Jesus

Verse 1
From wherever spring arrives to heal the ground
From wherever searching comes the look itself
A Trace of What we're looking for 
So be quiet now and wait

Bridge 
The Ocean, Is growing
The tide is coming in
Here It Is

Verse 2
And what was said to rose
To make it unfold
Was said to me here in my chest
So be quiet now and rest,
So be quiet now and rest....

It's frustrating for me that there are such good, relevant songs out there that only half usable.  I can only stand Tomlin, Redman, Hughes, Baloche, etc... for so long... it starts to sound the same.  I'm not saying I want my DCB songs to slide into that format.  Just tweak the verses man!  Many worship leaders use these 50% DCB songs anyway and I'm sure it's fine. 

Another thought.  It's very possible that DCB is bringing us into a new age of corporate worship this is more artistic and symbolic than concrete and structured.  Much like the shift from Modern to Postmodern... which is a larger conversation of course...

Like many of us out there, I still love DCB, and am listening to them right now.  I guess my point is... tweak the verses DCB.  Help a brother out.

Next week I'll share a little about what I think about songs... or what makes a good corporate song.

Slacker

I'm a bad blogger.  ;)

We're back though... and ready to rock.

2009 is shaping up to be pretty good so far.

Paul is doing well.  He is 3/4s the way through Chemo and his body is responding well to it.  Of course the process is brutal, he has good days and bad, but the tumor is shrinking and they will go in in a few weeks and take what's left of it out.  Please continue to pray for perseverance and that Paul might have hope and see the bigger picture in all of this suffering.  I was able to spend last Friday with him watching a documentary on the Ultimate Warrior.  Took me back.  That dude was huge.

Our Chicago condo has been on the market for about 5 months now with no offers... so we've decided to rent it and have had a number of interested peeps in the last week.  Hopefully we can get someone in there in march and plug the rapid drainage of our savings!  It's looking good.

Judson is 5 months now and rolling right along.  He is sitting up on his own and interacting with us more and more.  He is also looking more and more like me with some rosy cheeks and my dark blue eyes.  It's still kind of surreal to think that he carries my traits... so cool... part me, and part my favorite person in the world.  What a wonderful mystery God has given us there. 

Just had a great talk with a coworker.  Someone who has endured the storms Calvary has experienced the last number of years with a few pastoral transitions and some rocky times.  So much change here in the past few years.  It's good for me to get different perspectives.  I know it's effected different groups of people differently.  My heart hurts for those who are displaced, disgruntled, or feeling lost in it all.  The church is definitely not a place filled with perfect shiny people, it's more like a hospital for people with relational problems, addictions, idols, attitudes, identity crisis, self esteem issues... you name it.  Thank God we have a good Doctor.  There have been many signs of healing and health.  We're so glad we're here. 

Update on Paul

Good news, Paul is out of the hospital.

He survived a week and a half down at UPenn hospital and yesterday he came home to my parents house in Norristown.  He is healing up from surgery and pretty much tube/iv free.  He is in good spirits and starting to get his strength back.  He had a good amount of fluid built up in his legs from all the IVs and not being able to move much. That caused him a good amount of discomfort.  That is slowly getting back to normal. 

He seems glad to be home.  My mom is the in house "nurse", but he has a few visiting nurses that will come every day or two.  Hopefully he will be able to get some rest that the comfort of hospital living can deny you. 

Now onto Chemo.  It's been almost a week and it hasn't been too bad.  They say about the third week it really starts to kick in.  He will need to eat and excercise regularly to keep his body strong for the chemical attack it will take to kill these tumors. 

So we gear up for the fight...  Thanks for all your prayers.

The C Word

 

Cancer.

My little brother has cancer.  It's a little surreal to write that.  We've known for a while that something was not right.  Paul had lost about 40 lbs in the last month or two... waiting on health insurance to kick in to get it checked out.  We found out Wednesday after he went to the doctor. 

Thursday we went for another appointment and the Dr. told us to go directly to UPenn Hospital downtown, do not pass go, do not collect 200$, and that he would be admitted to begin whatever process might be necessary to analyze and treat it.  I'll save you details, but Friday he had some pretty major surgery that left him with tubes coming out of everywhere and a fat bag of Morphine to manage the pain, which is constant at this point.

A week into it, this is what we know.  There is a tumor/tumors wrapped around his kidney that spread up to his lungs and is near his heart.  The doctors are pretty sure chemo will shrink it, but we all know that chemo is brutal.  He started it last night and it knocked him out.  He actually was able to sleep through the night for the first time in a week which was good.  He has a minor surgery today to help drain his kidney.  They are hoping they can salvage that kidney.  He will be in the hospital for another week or two through the first round of Chemo before he comes home.  He has been recieving great care.  The doctors at Penn are top notch and we feel good he is there. 

He is in a good amount of pain, but in pretty good spirits.  That dude is a fighter.  He told us not to be sad and mopey around him, so we are doing our best to stay positive and laugh when we are around him.  His email is paulieD526@yahoo.com if youd like to drop him a note of encouragement... or your best joke.  Thanks for your prayers.  He needs them during this time. 

Transition

OK, I'm back. 

Good transition from Chicago to the Philly area, and just in time to watch the Phillies make a run for the championship.

We're settling into our new place just great.  It this great loft apartment we're renting in Harleysville Pa, a far suburb.  Lots of character and Erica loves it.  It a stark contrast to our neighborhood in West Chicago... quiet, green, and when I walk outside it smells like campfire.  It's been healing for my soul, didn't realize I needed it.  Our Chicago Condo has been on the market for a month.  When that sells it will be a big load off my mind (and wallet.)

Judson is great.  Getting bigger, and filling out.  He's starting to smile now in the mornings.  Every time he does I feel my heart absolutely light up.  It's quite amazing.  Erica has done an amazing job with him.  She's a been an incredible mom and wife, taking the late night shifts giving me an opportunity to give focus to my new job. 

Calvary has given us a warm welcome.  We feel God has led us to a place where we can be used.  It's clear that the road will be bumpy... but we're glad to be here, and look forward to getting to know our new Church family. 

Home

We were able to take Judson home today after he passed every test under the sun.  What a great feeling.  We spent a few hours hanging with him and then ZONKED OUT around 7pm.  Its currently 3am and I'll probably stay up for a few more hours just as a precaution.  It's great to be on vacation so I can do this.  At some point I'll need to get back a manageable sleep schedule.  It's been so helpful to have Erica's mom here with us too.  Come on over this week and visit!

Sports highlights from today: Phils win, PSU win, Michigan loss and good fantasy draft.  I'll be rooting for McNabb, Frank Gore, Plexico Burress, Tony Gonzales, and Willie Parker to bring home the trophy. 

Scare of a Lifetime

We've had a baptism by fire into parenthood.

Wednesday night we were sitting on the couch. Judson was asleep on my lap when all of a sudden he went into a crazy spasm. It was clear after a few seconds he was struggling to breath and could not inhale. A frantic minute passed as we freak out, patting him on the back, josteling him, and eventually running down the stairs and banging on the door of our first floor neighbor who is a doctor. The motion of the steps helped produce a gasp out of Judson. When we got in our neighbors apartment, we were able to suction out a good amount of mucus from his lungs and called 911. The ambulance came within minutes. By that time he was breathing fine. We hopped in the ambulance and went to the hospital as a precaution.

36 hours later I'm here sitting in the icu with my 5 day old son. He is fine. The hospital wants to take every precaution so theve kept him and are doing every test possible. I know it will set our minds at ease but he has been through the ringer the past two days. They wouldn't let us feed him so he got dehydrated at first, then they tried to take blood but couldnt find a vein for 5 minutes. They gave him an iv and put on a splint so it wouldn't move. Then came the catheter, cat scan, x rays, and they topped it off with a spinal tap. This was all within the first 6 hours. I'll spare you details, but it has been an emotionally draining and borderline tramatic time for us. Jud was been an absolute warrior through it. And every test has come back normal.

Part of me wants to grab him, pull out the iv and sensors and run out of here. It's so hard to see my little man on the hospital bed hooked up to machines and being poked with needles. But we know that it is the right thing to do right now.

We're sure it was just a normal choking spell. I'm glad he was on my lap when it happened. God's timing is perfect. We're beyond thankful he is ok.

Can't wait to bring him home. Thanks for everyone who's prayed, emailed, called and stopped by.